How do you find your future?

A while ago I saw the following tweet on Twitter and it made me think:

“You know what you want. If you’re not doing whatever it takes to get it, your fear is greater than your desire.”  @TheIlluminati

The problem is I know what I want in broad terms, I just don’t know what I want my life to be right now.  In the future I want to be able to say I am a published author, I want to have time every day to write down the ideas in my head and share them with the world.

In the meantime I have to work in a job where I am well paid and can fund my hobbies which if you read my blog regularly you will know are football, movies, music and books (not necessarily in that order!).

The only problem is I have been working in a friendly team for the last 10 years and I will miss the familiarity of working with those people.  My fear of change certainly outweighs my desire to change!

I have more to offer than I currently give.  My chances of promotion in my current job are non-existent and their dependence on me is the anchor that keeps me grounded at my desk.  Now the time has come for me to cast off my anchor and put myself first, as the eldest of 4 children this is something I’ve never really done.  There is always someone who needs something from me and their needs are put before my own, lets face it everyone likes to be loved and needed.

My bosses often tell me they would make more money if they got rid of the staff and just had me doing the work which is a compliment of my abilities in what I do.  I just couldn’t really explain my job to you, which causes problems when writing CV’s and job applications.

I’ve never been comfortable in selling myself.  I feel as though I would be capable of doing almost anything, I don’t enjoy all the aspects of my job but it has given me a wide range of experience.  I just don’t know how to put it all down so that someone else will see what my work colleagues see every day.

Then there is the fact that I have no idea which field I would like to work in or which company I would like to work for.  Do I want to travel or work locally?

I have always wanted to work in London but I said I would only do it if I lived in London.  Do I really want the hassle and expense of daily trips on the tube, knowing how unreliable they can be?  Plus add in the parking costs for driving to the station every day and you are at a loss before you begin.  But aren’t the financial and life rewards better?  Wouldn’t I meet a wider range of people and experience some new areas of life that would ultimately give me more writing material?

What about working locally?  There are no guarantees that I wouldn’t have parking issues.  I wouldn’t earn London money, but I wouldn’t have to pay the travel costs either.  Then there are the shorter travel times which means getting home earlier and possibly still being fresh enough to do some writing.

But what sort of company should I go for?  I have experience in Healthcare, Accountancy, Engineering and Retail.  All of which had downsides.

Healthcare brought cutbacks and constant job insecurity.  The plus side was a worked with a range of people who were all lovely and we have a great team.

Retail was difficult at times dealing with people who lets face it are idiots when it comes to being served.  Customers talk down to people in the service industry whether it be in a restaurant or a shop, not sure why!  I was muted for a management training position for a time, although it never materialised; I left once I realised it was all talk.  Even at a young age colleagues could see my potential!

Accountancy wasn’t all I thought it would be and I really don’t have a great head for figures, something I wish I was better at.

That leaves Engineering where I am now.  I currently work for a small engineering company but I was a project secretary for a big company on a short-term contract and it wasn’t a very fulfilling job.  The problem with small companies is the lack of job prospects.  I already reached the top and there is nowhere to go!

I’ve looked at education and local government but these are risky areas of work what with the current economy problems they are likely to be where the future cutbacks will happen.  Do I really want to go back to job insecurity?

What would be my ideal job?  I have always thought working in the music industry or football would be the most fulfilling.  I did want to do journalism at college but I was talked into doing business studies and economics.

If I had my time over I wouldn’t have listened and would have done media studies and journalism.  I could of course go and learn this somewhere but at my age I’m not sure I would fit in as the courses will be filled with young people.  Also I couldn’t afford to study full-time and my job prospects will be reduced if I have to study part-time at college as I will need to be able to travel easily for the course.

If I was being totally honest I guess my ideal job would be a PA for a Premiership Footballer.  But then who doesn’t want a glamorous job like that?  Maybe I could be the person you see holding a clipboard when the players get off the team coach, I wonder where they advertise that?  I definitely have experience of holding clipboards!

I have enough work experience to know that whatever job you have there will be bits you love doing, like doing and absolutely hate doing.  The person who has your “ideal” job is probably just as fed up with it as I am with my current job.

No job is ever as exciting as you think it is going to be.  Even working with Premiership Footballers, I imagine most of them would be hard work!  Mind you I am good at motivating people to get work done, I have a special look I reserve for such occasions!  It always seems to focus their minds!

I’m sure the perfect job is out there somewhere, I just need to put my thinking cap on and work out where to start looking!  Wish me luck!


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