Why I’m Anti Valentines Day

Next week is Valentines Day when all the loved up couples go out and do romantic things at extortionate cost just to prove how much they love each other.

Now you might think my dislike of Valentines Day stems from the fact I’m single. It doesn’t. I object to the fact that we have been told we should be romantic every 14th February just because someone decided its Valentines Day.

I think I’m weird in that respect. I would find it way more romantic if someone out of the blue brought me a cake from the bakers while they were getting their lunch than waited till the 14th February to buy me flowers. Instead of someone waiting for a specific day in the year to be romantic they saw something they thought I would like and brought it for me for no other reason than in that moment I was on their mind. I do it all the time, buy things out of the blue for people because I saw it and thought of them.

Not only are we taught that Valentines Day is the time to be romantic all the restaurants, shops, hotels, spas etc put their prices up to capitalise on people trying to be romantic and we all accept it! WHY?!!

It’s been a long time since I went on a date, any sort of date, but I don’t think many people do the whole flowers and chocolates thing any more. But on the 14th February if you show up for a date without flowers and chocolates you can be sure you’re getting a bad mark.

I see it every year. I work in an office full of men. All of them are either in a relationship or married. I can always tell when someone’s wife/ girlfriend has a birthday as there will be a bunch of flowers in water in the kitchen. It’s the same with Valentines Day when it falls in the week, boxes of chocolates on their desks and flowers in the kitchen.

I saw a picture on the internet, a meme I think you call it of a pair of goalkeepers gloves and it said “If I give you these I know you’re a keeper”. I thought it was sweet. I like football and I would get that gesture. I think probably 98% of the female population would think I’m wrong. To me its a unique romantic gesture.

I can’t be entirely sure seeing as I’ve never been in love but I think Valentines Day is mostly about getting engaged anyway. I think most women in relationships over say a 6 month duration are going to have a part of them expecting a down on one knee gesture. It’s the way we are programmed. It’s what most romantic films and books tell us happens. I have to add that I think a proposal in a restaurant is kind of old hat now and some not all women are looking for a bigger romantic gesture than that. Again you can blame the movies for that one.

It’s funny isn’t it, you watch all these romantic movies and think that’s how life is going to be. But if you stop and think about it for a second they rarely work in the movies so where the hell do they get the money to buy those massive engagement rings. Jewellery is something I enjoy, I rarely walk past a jewellers without stopping to look at the sparkly rings. Not because I stand there dreaming of the day someone gets down on one knee and produces one of them with a burning question. Somehow I don’t think that’s my future. I stop and look because I love to appreciate the beauty of them and admire the cost.

I guess I’m weird again. Whilst I love looking at expensive rings and jewellery, again for their beauty I would hate to actually own one. So I guess if anyone is reading this that might potentially want to propose to me, I realise this is incredibly unlikely, don’t get something ridiculously expensive. I have working hands, I would be petrified to wear an expensive ring and honestly I would be more happy that someone has decided they can put up with me for the rest of their life than have the money to buy me an expensive ring.

So I guess what I’m saying is this. Don’t wait till the 14th February to tell someone how you feel about them. Don’t wait until they put up the prices to buy someone flowers, they will mean so much more when they are unexpected. Be original with your romantic gestures. Don’t just buy flowers and chocolates because that is what we are programmed to do. If someone you love or care about is on your mind let them know then and there. Romantic gestures don’t need to be big sometimes the smaller and more thoughtful they are the more memorable they will be.

Oh and girls don’t believe the movies. How many men have you met that measure up to the perfect guys you see in the movies? Cut them some slack because I’m starting to realise they are just wired up differently to us. They see life in more black and white. They don’t deliberately try to hurt us or ignore our needs they just don’t see life the same way as we do. Instead of getting angry try explaining how you feel, ask them to explain how they feel. Oh and romance works both ways, don’t just wait for him to do all the work and then complain when he doesn’t.

Remember the best relationships are those where you both want to put in the effort. So be brave and be creative but most of all be lovely to each other not just one day a year but everyday. I think we could all use a bit more love in our lives.

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3 responses

  1. I don’t think you are weird. I would much rather get a random “thought of” gift from my lover than a programmed day where he feels he HAS to do it. I would feel more special that he thought of me randomly, showing that I’m there in his brain out of love, then requirement.
    I don’t want big jewelry. I don’t want flowers. I want something that’s me. Something that shows he thought of me and knows me. Well, I might forgive iris flowers. LOL.

  2. I totally agree. I think the commercial pressures which surround Valentine’s Day have laid waste to spontaneity and genuine gestures of love or affection. Men are ‘expected’ to perform in a certain way – give flowers/chocolates/card at the very least, and rather than this being appreciated, those hapless boyfriends and husbands are castigated if they fail to come up with the correct tokens of their affection. I read recently too, that the same burden of expectation now falls on proposals, with ever more being demanded of the man. Not only must he get down on one knee, with a ring of suitable dimensions, but he runs the risk of disappointing if he doesn’t come up with a video, or a flash-mob, or a plane carrying his message across the sky. Enough already!

    1. Yeah I do feel sorry for them a bit. No-one teaches men it’s ok to have feelings. They are taught to be strong and never show how they feel cause it’s a sign of weakness. When it comes to relationships they often don’t understand how they make women feel with their actions because they treat them how they treat their mates. Being romantic doesn’t come easily to everyone and not everyone agrees what romance is or should be. We forget to appreciate what we have in search of something we perceive to be perfect. The older I get the more I realise that perfection doesn’t exist, we are all just bumbling along trying to get through each day as it comes. I’m trying to make sure I appreciate that more rather than hoping for a perfection I may never find!

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