This week I have made some decisions in the effort to continue to beat my depression.
I realised I had been a very bad friend to someone who needed support and positivity and not to be faced with my constant negativity and mood swings. I forgot that he brings sunshine into my life in my dark moments and I made a promise to myself to not forget that again.
I realised that idle hands are not helping my over-active mind. I went in search of a hobby to keep my hands occupied whilst watching TV at night. I found cross stitch, something I had done years ago when I was in my early teens. I’m hoping I can still remember how!
I also decided that now is the time to make the jump and quit my job. The office is moving and I feel if I don’t do it now then I never will. It’s risky as I don’t have another job to fall into but I’m confident that I will find something. The constant frustration about not being able to move forward is holding me back from getting better and at the end of the day that has to be more important.
I should feel panic but I don’t. I feel calm and relaxed. I feel positive. I’ve started taking St Johns Wort daily to see if that will help, so far I’m not sure it has done anything but I’ll stick with it for a little while.
I also signed up to help with a study on the relationship between bullying and mental health being run by the University of Bath. Check out the link below if you think you can help. They are looking for people to complete some questionnaires and you don’t need to have experienced bullying or mental health to partake.
Things are looking up. Progress is slow. I have 2 more CBT sessions to complete and then I’m done. There is a light appearing at the end of the dark tunnel I think I’m getting nearer to it now.