Trust and Song Lyrics….

I found myself driving home in the sunshine tonight singing along to the Doobie Brothers, What A Fool Believes on the radio and it made me think. They have a point…

So I’m not going to win any cool awards with my confession of liking that song. It’s a catchy tune and really I don’t care if you judge me for liking it, I’ve been singing it all night.

The guy is dead right:

But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing

We’ve all been there.

We’ve all had someone promise us the world, promise we could trust them no matter what because they would never hurt us and then boom just when you do they decide they never meant it at all.

It’s not only in relationships, people sell to us all the time, life is a seller’s market.

The man who promises to deliver your washing machine before 1pm and leaves you waiting past 4pm sold you a lie just as much as the guy who said he loved you and ran off with your sister.

Only one type of lie hurts a lot more.

It’s not only lies the ones you love tell that hurt, you can be hurt just as much by a friends lie.

I don’t trust easily, I’ve been hurt by way too many people for that.  When I do trust someone I trust completely. I believe every world they tell me as true until I see something cold, hard and painful that finally breaks the spell for me.

Some would say it makes me gullible and naive and I can’t disagree with that how I feel at the moment.

I trust and expect to be trusted in return, I care and expect the person who says they care back to mean it and not just say it to shut me up.

I learned something recently that I’ve always known but never really wanted to accept.

If someone wants you in their life you’ll know. They’ll call, message or at least make a few minutes to reply to your messages when they can and it’ll be like you just spoke.

I have a weird selection of friends I’ve collected through my life. I should probably clarify in case any of them drop by and read this. I say weird as in how I met them rather than they are a bunch of weird people, well I guess some are both, I’m kinda weird myself after all!

Sadly none of them are friends I’m in touch with on a regular basis or see all that often. I keep in contact with them, life has just pulled us all in different directions and I still consider all of them true friends.

Even though we don’t see each other often, as soon as we pick up the phone, Skype or meet up for a drink it’s like we spoke yesterday and I love that. Best of all none of them have ever misplaced my trust or hurt me.

As they say fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, there isn’t normally a third time in that particular rhyme.

You get to a point where the lies exhaust you and you can’t find the effort to keep trying. It doesn’t mean you stop caring or that you don’t wish things were different every day but when you stop trusting someone how can you just carry on?

The relationship in whatever form (friends, lovers, marriage) can never be the same, the doubt will always be there anytime things start to change, you’ll be wondering if it’s happening all over again.

I’ve had people lie to my face before, I can normally tell the lies from the truth but even I get blinded sometimes, ‘what the fool believes he sees’ and all that.

How do I ever find a way to forgive that? I think I could cope with the other stuff but not what was said face to face, feet away from each other.

I don’t believe even now the lies were malicious, just a case of not thinking things through, not remembering what had been said before or being caught up in their own life.

I’m not making excuses, I’m done with making excuses and taking all the blame. A lie is still a lie and being hurt unintentionally doesn’t make it any less painful.

I keep coming back to the fact it is easy to make promises when you’re in selling mode and working to get what you want, the real test is proving it once you got what you wanted.

I’m loathed to become a cynic over the whole thing but I’m feeling a bit delicate shall we say.

A friend I thought I knew well decided to prove I couldn’t trust him and left me feeling like a fool and I’m so angry at him, and myself for being the fool.

I’m angry because in the end he still thought it was ok to betray my trust and say he cares about me. To me they are a contradiction.

If I care about someone I’m honest with them and that way they know they can trust me and that I won’t hurt them.

To me breaking someone’s hard-earned trust but still saying you care about them is a contradiction to make yourself feel better for what you did. Because if you cared you would’ve been honest all along.

And another thing, don’t you just hate it when people end a relationship by telling you how amazing you are, that it’s nothing to do with you personally and that you deserve to be happy. What a crock of shit!

For a start I have never wanted to lose the amazing people in my life, I would fight to hold onto them! Duh, they’re amazing!

If I don’t like someone it is personal, clearly it’s not me that’s the problem it’s them, as I’ve been told many times how amazing I am!

If you really thought I deserved to be happy you would have been a part of making that happen and not the person that upset me in the first place!

Aren’t we all getting a bit old for these games? Don’t we all deserve a little honesty?

Even if things aren’t working out how you planned or if circumstances have changed isn’t it better to just be up front rather than ignoring the situation and/or person and hoping it will just go away?

I can’t help but think ignoring the issue and hoping it will just go away is a cowards way out. You get to avoid all the confrontation and accepting that you hurt someone and carry on with your life while the other person picks up the pieces of theirs.

Do you even cross their mind?

I think about my friends at various intervals throughout the day, some days more than others and even dream about them on occasion, but I bet I never even cross his mind!

I love getting messages from my friends telling me how much they miss me or that something they saw reminded them of me and they wanted to tell me. I always return the favour too, it’s nice to know someone is thinking of you and it might just make their day.

No matter how angry I am that I was betrayed it doesn’t stop me wanting to pick up my phone and check in with him, it doesn’t stop me caring about him. I guess loyalty and friendship are dying arts to some people.

Even that makes me the fool, because the inescapable elephant in the room here is that they aren’t the people we think they are. We don’t see what’s going on right before our eyes because whatever they are  selling we want and that allows us to forgive almost anything.

Almost being the key word here, no one’s patience and trust is unlimited. We all break at some point.

I don’t want to believe that the person I thought I knew all this time was a lie and that we are incapable of being friends. I miss our friendship and the support it gave me, but when you reach the point when you’re the only one trying what’s the point in carrying on?

I made a promise to myself to let him go and to walk away from the friendship. I really didn’t want to, but all relationships are a two way street.

I told him it was his loss and if he meant what he said about being my friend he needed to prove it, and then I slept for almost a week, I was so exhausted I literally couldn’t stay awake.

I decided that even if it means I will always be alone it is better to spend a little of my time with the people who show they care than a lot of my time on someone who will never prove it. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Sure I still cry at random times when I think about losing my friend but I keep telling myself over and over that I’m going to be ok and it helps. At least I have avoided all urges no matter how strong to contact him so far!

Who knows what the future holds, I won’t hold my breath for the grand display of friendship and it if did come who knows if I’ll ever be able to trust him again.

Right now I’m just happy listening to the song and pondering the story behind it… oh and doing my cross stitch!

See what fun they are missing! It’s good to be amazing! 🙂

Doobie Brothers – What A Fool Believes Lyrics

He came from somewhere back in her long ago
The sentimental fool don’t see
Trying hard to recreate
What had yet to be created once in her life

She musters a smile
For his nostalgic tale
Never coming near what he wanted to say
Only to realize
It never really was

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He’s watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
And nothing at all keeps sending him

Somewhere back in her long ago
Where he can still believe there’s a place in her life
Someday, somewhere, she will return


But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
There’s nothing at all
But what a fool believes he sees

Just incase you fancy a listen!


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Angry Boater Joel Sanders

Joel Sanders Saunders angry boater boat narrowboat comedy comedian CRT


I eat cheese, I run from zombies, and I do therapy

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