I woke up yesterday feeling nervous about England’s fate in the Wales match later in the day. I’d made a pact with a friend that we would resume our good luck ritual of talking on match days so I sent a good morning message to boost the luck. I had to send a top up message at half time to get us through the game but we seem to have replenished our luck as England managed to win.
After the game when I checked in on social media I read about the tragic and violent way that Jo Cox MP lost her life and it made me feel sad. There are so many people in the world today who are fuelled by hate, anger and injustice that they seek to ruin the lives of others to prove their point.
It really does make me despair sometimes about the people we are creating in the world. It also makes me thankful for people like my friend who are positive 24/7/365. I honestly don’t know how he does it but just being around him makes me feel like I can be or achieve anything and I’ve never had that in my life before.
I’m an over thinker and with everything that has happened to me in the last year I’ve spent a lot of time trapped in my head; rethinking every situation over. It has made me feel more alone than I have ever felt in my life and I hide the sadness in my heart from everyone.
I don’t know how to talk to my friends anymore so I’m becoming someone I’ve never been, a quiet person. When all you have and all you do is hospital appointments and looking after people there isn’t much of interest to share with your friends.
That’s not to say that I don’t know how to enjoy myself or have fun, when I go out I leave all that stuff behind. It’s just kind of lonely when you really need to talk to someone but don’t know who to call or what to say.
I thought I would go for a walk to clear my head and listen to some music as I always do whilst walking. My iPod seems in tune with me and normally picks the songs I want to hear without me searching for them but today it played one sad song after another.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love a sad song as much as I love a happy song, funny song, rap song or pretty much any other type of music going. But today I needed loud music to drain out my thoughts. But as I was listening I started to think of my A – Z of sad songs.
There are songs you listen to when you are down and every lyric makes you feel like they know what you’re thinking. When you’re happy you listen to the music but when you’re sad you understand the lyrics.
So here you go, my A – Z of sad songs that say so much… because sometimes you just can’t face saying the words or telling that person how you feel there is someone out there who has said it for you!
A is for Alone by Heart or Are ‘Friends’ Electric by Gary Numan and Tubeway Army
B is for Broken Strings by James Morrison or Band of Gold by Freda Payne
C is for Creep by Radiohead or Certain Things by James Arthur
D is for Don’t You Want My Baby by Human League or Different Corner by Wham!
E is for Emotion by Samantha Sang or Ever Fallen in Love With Someone (You Shouldn’t Have Fallen in Love With) by The Buzzcocks
F is for Further Away by Lissie or Fast Car by Tracy Chapman
G is for Give Me The Reason by Luther Vandross or Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac
H is for Hard Habit to Break by Chicago or Head Over Heels/ Broken by Tears for Fears
I is for I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues by Elton John or (I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight by Cutting Crew
J is for Jealous Guy by Roxy Music or Just Give Me A Reason by Pink
K is for Keep Your Head Up by Ben Howard or Kiss The Rain by Billie Myers
L is for Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division or La La La by Naughty Boy
M is for Many Rivers to Cross by Jimmy Cliff or Mildred (Lost a Friend) by Deaf Havana
N is for Need You Now by Lady Antebellum or Never Tear Us Apart by Inxs
O is for One Day in Your Life by Michael Jackson or On My Own by Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald
P is for Photograph by Ed Sheeran or Pickup Truck by Kings of Leon
Q is for Quit Playing Games With My Heart by The Backstreet Boys (I only have I ‘Q’ song but then one is all you need!)
R is for Rather Be by Clean Bandit or Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx
S is for See The Day by Dee C. Lee or Sad Songs Say So Much by Elton John
T is for Time to Say Goodbye (Con Te Partiro) by Andrea Bocelli or Teardrops by Shakin Stevens
U is for Unfinished Sympathy by Massive Attack or Under The Bridge by Red Hot Chilli Peppers
V is for Victims by Culture Club or Vincent by Don McLean
W is for What About Now by Westlife or Waiting For A Girl Like You by Foreigner
X is for XO by Beyonce (Ok I had to Google this as I don’t have any ‘X’ songs on my iPod!)
Y is for Yes by McAlmont & Butler or You & I by Crystal Fighters
Z is for Zombie by The Cranberries
If I did this on any other day I could pick a completely different list of songs. There are so many songs that catch you in a moment in life. A line that will speak to your heart and that is what makes music great…
From Numan’s ‘I don’t think it meant anything to you’ to finishing on ‘You see it meant everything to me’ on Are ‘Friends’ Electric? to James Arthur summing it up on Certain Things…
Something about you
It’s like an addiction
Hit me with your best shot honey
I’ve got no reason to doubt you
‘Cause certain things hurt
And you’re my only virtue
And I’m virtually yours
We’ve all been there and we all have that one song or group of songs that help bring us back. I know I would be lost without my music, especially on a day when I’m feeling kind of down and alone. But somehow trawling through my memories to make the list has managed to make me smile.
None of us know what the future holds for us. But this year has taught me not to take anything for granted because one day it will all be gone. It has also taught me the value of spending time with the people you love and making sure you leave nothing unsaid and trying to avoid all the petty arguments that happen in life that really mean nothing at the end of the day.
We have to always remember that there are good people out there, people who love and care for us, even if we don’t always realise who they are. Don’t focus on the negative people or the hate, focus on the people who make you smile on the days when you don’t think you will ever smile again. Don’t be afraid to give someone your heart, you may not gets theirs in return but you’ll never know unless you try!
Love everyone as much as you can and the darkness in the world will never win! #JustBeHappy