Taking a Chance….

I had to pick up a parcel in town today and by chance I looked in the bookshop window. They were advertising a job with flexible hours and for more information you had to enquire within.

Due to my caring arrangements I haven’t been able to work in the last year. At first I was looking to set up a business but couldn’t find a profitable model. Then I was looking for work but with appointments piling up I couldn’t really focus. Now I feel like I need something to take my mind off everything else.

I thought about looking for part-time work but with appointments coming on any day of the week it is hard to be able to commit to set days and hours. Not many people will be keen to employ someone who is a carer as I’ll be seen as unreliable when in fact it takes a lot of reliability to be a carer!

I couldn’t get the bookshop job out of my head. A minimum of 10 hours per week, I could manage that around what I do now. There would be weeks where I could do more but life is on a day-to-day basis most of the time. I wonder when the weather turns colder what the reality will be but that is a future I can’t see.

So I took a chance. I sent a cover letter explaining my situation, love of books and that I was ready to work 10 hours a week with the possibility of more. I rushed to the post box and got it out first class in tonight’s mail. The lady in the shop said the recruitment people would be there on Thursday to consider applications so it should be there in plenty of time.

I do worry what impact my sabbatical will have on my future career prospects but maybe this job is just what I need. I’ve always thought working in a book shop would be amazing. I could certainly use some regular income. Maybe in the run up to Xmas I could pick up more hours and that would solve the headache of being able to afford presents for family.

But more than all that I need a sense of something other than illness and the mental decline of my close relative in my life. I want to be able to think about something other than hospitals, doctors and nurses and remembering all the medical conditions, medications and outcomes of appointments.

I don’t even know what I want to do as a career anymore. I’ve always wanted to have my own business. I’d say I have a business mind, I’ve certainly offered ideas to my employers in the past that have worked out well for them. I just haven’t found a formula that works for me yet.

My cousins Mum thinks I should work with kids as I’m good with them. Kids are easy, I’m the eldest of 4 so I’m used to dealing with them. Plus it helps that a big part of me never really grew up and I like getting to play with all the cool toys we didn’t have when I was little.

But as a career I’m just not sure. I always thought I would have kids one day but I don’t think I will anymore. Maybe working with kids will cure that need. But I doubt it would be as fun as I imagine it will.

My Mum thinks it’s a good idea and that I should open either a childminders or children’s nursery, she even offered to help fund some premises to start me off. But as a business I just don’t know. Sure they charge a lot for the services they provide but that just makes me think that they either want to make big profits or that having a nursery comes with big overheads.

I know someone who was a childminder so maybe I’ll pick her brains next time we’re out and see what she thinks. I know a company that does training courses but as they forced me out would I want to give them my money?! I know people who live locally who have small children who maybe interested in getting involved. I’m due a catch up with one of them who thinks there is a market for my children’s cross stitch designs.

Then there was the suggestion that I trained to be a conveyancer as my sisters law firm are struggling to keep up with demand due to not enough people being qualified and available. I could potentially fill a gap that exists but it means studying full-time for 2 years and probably a hefty sum of money. Plus I may not have enough qualifications to be able to apply for the course. It sounds good as I would basically be self-employed and have time to pursue other things with a steady income stream but it’s not clear-cut. I have to wait until the next years syllabus is decided before being able to see if I qualify to enroll.

I just don’t know. I wish I had a crystal ball to see into the future so I can see if it all works out ok. I’m not really ready to commit to training for something which will probably cost me quite a bit of money and then not be able to get a job using that skill.

I think for the time being 10 hours a week selling books would be a really good thing for me. Getting my mind back into being a useful member of staff and chatting to new people might just kick-start some things for me.

I guess I need to keep my fingers crossed and hope my honesty will pay off and they give me a chance. I figured it was better to be upfront than try to hide the fact I have a years gap in my CV.

Wish me luck!!