Today is Time to Talk Day raising awareness of mental health issues and that is something that is close to my heart. I have a personal battle with depression, I have been quite open about it on my blog in the past, in the hope that it would help others not feel so alone in similar situations.
I wanted to share Time to Talk Day and ask you to have a look at how you can help. I’ve logged my conversations for the day and I want to share with you my thoughts.
If you’re struggling today and things maybe aren’t going the way you’d like then please use today to talk to someone about it and to reach out for help. There are no magic wands to fix people or situations but there are people who can be reached out to for help if you are willing to ask.
I believe in the power of having people you can trust to open your heart to without judgement, and how that helps to keep your mental health balanced. I find it a constant struggle to stop the darkness from over taking me when I am in emotional situations and in the past I have been guilty of self-destructive behaviour to make myself believe I am how others make me feel.
I found distancing myself from certain people helps in some ways but promotes the feelings of loneliness. At times it feels like I can either feel like a good person who has dreams they want to achieve and be around people or I can be around people and be made to feel like an embarrassment, figure of fun and someone to constantly put down. So to feel better about myself I stay away and feel alone.
I’ve been through a lot emotionally in the last couple of years and I’ve not really shared it with anyone. But last week I poured my heart out to a friend, via email because I was too afraid to say it to their face. I didn’t want them to see me cry. I was scared at the reaction it would get, telling someone my deepest secrets for the first time but I trusted they would understand. The reaction I got was incredibly comforting. There was no judgement or making me feel inadequate, there was only love.
In truth that friendship has helped me to see that there should only be love. I’ve fought a lot in the past with that friend and tried to cleanse myself of them in many ways but years have passed and now there is only love. That love is allowing me to love myself for who I am and allowing me to be the person I want.
If people don’t like me or understand me then that is their loss. I haven’t met anyone like me so maybe that’s why people are confused. I’m not a screw up or an embarrassment – I just don’t walk everyone elses path. I’m an individual, I always have been and when you don’t feel the need to comply people don’t always get you.
My path is a little circular and lonely right now. It isn’t leading me towards my dreams but to some people it is giving them what they need at a time they need it. I need to find a path soon that lends me a kink towards my dream but I think in the long run things will work out for the best.
My horoscope is full of love connections at the moment and fun turning into long-term relationships. Even my fortune cookie advised me that a well-chosen word at the right time would bring miracles my way. I’m not sure I believe in these things but I don’t think it can hurt to hope for a while that they might be right.
For all I do for others and the person I am, I think karma owes me a little bit of happiness. One day it will have to be my turn to get my hearts desire, surely?!
So there you are, that’s how I’m feeling today. Why don’t you tell someone how you’re feeling. Let’s all use today as a Time to Change and a Time to Talk.