Tag Archives: Violence and Abuse

A Place To Call Home by Carole Matthews

This book was very easy to read and managed to keep me hooked through some long nights of reading as I was unable to put the book down. In the end I think I finished it in about 4 days.

It is the story of a beaten wife who leaves her abusive husband in the middle of the night with their child, struck mute from the horror she has witnessed.

They find shelter in a house with a mixed bag of damaged adults existing rather than living in a house in Hampstead.

I could say that it’s a story of love and hope and it has a happy ending but it is more than that. Unusually it had surprises lurking in the pages, even to the point where my heart raced desperate to turn the page and start the next chapter – convinced I knew what would happen, only to be sent down completely the wrong path and breathing a big sigh of relief.

It’s a lovely story and it touches your heart. I would say with holiday season on the horizon you could do a lot worse than spending a day in the sun reading a book like this.

To all the kids who are being bullied, don’t give up…

If you are being bullied right now I want to say to you, don’t give up.

I saw this comment from the author Sylvain Reynard on Twitter the other day:

“Hey, you. Yes, you. You’re good enough. You’re smart enough. And doggone it, people like you. Enjoy your day, Sylvain Reynard”

I favorited it and when I need a boost I go back and read it.

I was bullied by my circle of friends throughout the whole of my last year at school. It started on a Monday morning with them all turning their backs on me.

They fabricated an increasing number of lies to turn themselves and others against me. They surrounded me and daily stripped my confidence with their cruel lies and taunts. One even got someone to punch her in the face and told her parents I did it so I would get in trouble!

Getting up every morning to go to school took every ounce of effort I had. I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognise the person staring back at me.

17 years later and I still have no idea why or what I did wrong. The truth is I’ve just stopped needing to know. I did nothing wrong.

I’ve always been me. Sometimes people love me, sometimes I’m annoying (I even annoy myself), sometimes people need a break from me but I’ve never pretended to be someone I’m not. I’ve never pretended to like something so someone will like me.

I know what I like and I’ll never apologise for that.

For 17 years I have dealt with the aftermath of that year of my life.  I’m nearly 34 now and I’m finally ready to move on and claim my life back. I have some people I trust who are helping me to move on and put the past behind me.

I had dark days where I wanted to give in and make it stop. But I always managed to control those thoughts with a hope of what was still to come in my life.

Don’t wait 17 years like I did to claim your life back, start today!

You did nothing wrong.

Tell someone today that you need their help. Start with a parent, sibling, relative if you can’t make them listen scream until they do.

If they can’t help write a letter to your doctor and ask for their help. I did this and saw a councellor who gave me some coping mechanisms that I still use today.

 

Find a new circle of friends, get a new hobby, go to a different college, school, university, job anything.

Completely remove their poison from your life.

Delete your social network accounts, remove that avenue of bullying from them.

Block their phone numbers and change your number; only give it to people you know you can truly trust.

Don’t make excuses for the bullies or justify their behaviour, there is no justification, EVER for making someone feel bad to make yourself feel better.

I did this, I turned it round on myself, hated myself cause there was 7 of them and 1 of me. I had to be in the wrong. I even started to believe their lies.

Don’t be mistrusting of new people.

Don’t walk with your eyes on the ground.

Don’t hide away in the corner at parties or make excuses to not attend at all.

Don’t hide away from your life.

Find the kid at school who feels the same way as you do and help each other. They’re there, trust me. You just never needed to see them before.

LIVE YOUR LIFE, YOUR WAY, ON YOUR TERMS, IT’S THE ONLY ONE YOU HAVE!

We can’t let the people who want to tear us down win. We have to fight them every day.

We have to be strong enough to ask for help when we need it. If you scream loud enough, someone will always listen.

Never give up hope of what your life might be one day. I never did and never will.

Never ever forget that someone loves you right now and in the future you will meet more people who love you, don’t ever stop looking for them! When you find them your life will change forever and the pain you feel now will be a distant memory.

You are worth so much more. You deserve so much more. Please believe that.

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